Teapotjan

Something I’ve never had, Is slowly slipping away. There’s nothing I can do, And nothing I can say. This thing was never really mine, Just shadows in my heart. Made of dreams not true or blessed, And tarnished from the start. But my heart mourns the losing Of the something I never had. My wretched tears flow in solitude, And my soul is weak and sad. There is no earthly source for help, The hurt is mine alone. To share it would bring only grief, And turn a soul to stone. So, quietly I mourn the loss, For what I never had . And pray for Heaven’s help To make my sad soul glad.

If I could fade away from this place, this earth, this mortal vale. And leave behind no tears, no sorrow, no regret, no fail. I would. I would fade away and fade, until vapor marked my final tear, And be not sad, not hurt, not mortal, not . . . .here. I should. I should not feel this way at night, in the morning, and the in betweens. My own self wars against me, and loses, and wins, and screams. I could. I could leave, but the leaving would be like a slash in time. And I would cause tears, and sorrows, and regrets not mine. I won't. I won't fade away until God erases my breath, my heart, my place. I'll stay and work and live in Grace. I'll wa

Grasping an arm. Clutching a hand. But still being pulled from the place I should stand. Being pushed by the longings that tear at my heart, and the knowledge that leaving could be a new start. I want that life. I want to be me. No voice to say "wait." I want to be free. To live in the now, and learn from before, and look to tomorrow with promise of more. But… The arm leads to shoulder, The hand wears a band. The voice calls "I love you" from the place I should stand. Promises made. Promises kept. The shoulder is wet, with the tears I have wept. I'll stay in the place I promised to be. But that pulling and pushing shook s