If I could fade away

If I could fade away from this place, this earth, this mortal vale.
And leave behind no tears, no sorrow, no regret, no fail.
I would.
I would fade away and fade, until vapor marked my final tear,
And be not sad, not hurt, not mortal, not . . . .here.
I should.
I should not feel this way at night, in the morning, and the in betweens.
My own self wars against me, and loses, and wins, and screams.
I could.
I could leave, but the leaving would be like a slash in time.
And I would cause tears, and sorrows, and regrets not mine.
I won't.
I won't fade away until God erases my breath, my heart, my place.
I'll stay and work and live in Grace.
I'll wait.